Summer Funk 101

I am a teacher...meaning I have summers off.  I get to be the most useless creature...EVER during the summer.  I work my butt off  (not literally, I wish) during the school year.  Anyways, I was thinking about my activities, or lack thereof and decided that, yep, I am in the "Summer Funk". 

 Here is how you tell...

-1- My roots need to be done, like bad. Worse than the extra laundry and that is bad, too.

-2- I haven't worn regular pants (meaning anything that is not stretchy) in, well, ummm...weeks?

-3- I got up at noon today...NOON!  During the school year I get up at 4:30am.  

August is going to be painful.

-4- I have become addicted to Candy Crush {insert ashamed face here}.

-5- #4 leads me to #5.  I am also addicted to HGTV.  Dreaming of all the projects I am going to do...yeah, about that.

-6- I have revived my hat collection, out of necessity of course. I would rather throw on a hat than have to fix my hair.  Sad.  Hence #1.

-7- I rescheduled our anniversary pictures in July for October, because I realized I am not doing so good on my summer goals...yet...there is still hope. 

-8- My couch has an obvious indention where my butt is 80% of the time. 

-9- My husband has changed his phrasing in conversation from, "What are you going to do today?" To, "Are you planning to leave the house today?"

-10- This is sad, get ready.  I have found my husband's t-shirt collection.  

Don't judge, they are big and comfortable...yet, not at all flattering.

Coming Undone

There is no happy ending here. To write about it or not?  I have gone back and forth with whether to share this on here or not, but since I said I was going to be talking a lot about weight loss and haven't I kinda feel like I owe the people who read this little blog an explanation.

I was going to a wedding that was going to have an open bar and since my period was a little late I thought, "why not, I'll take a test to make sure."  It came back positive (cue shocked face).  I continued to take multiple tests before scheduling a doctors appointment, and even made that for a couple days out...just to see.
I went to the doctor and she laughed when I told her I didn't believe I was really pregnant and she said, "Yes, you are really pregnant."

Sorry about this pee stick picture.

Up until that point I hadn't really let myself accept it.  So that is the point when I let myself be happy about it.  My husband was elated.
After the doctors appointment I woke up with some sharp pains in my pelvic region.  It hurt.  I called my mom (of course.) and she said just go ahead and go to the doctor.  My husband was at work, so I called him to keep him updated.  He insisted he come home, I said I was just having things checked out and he didn't need to use an "off" day.
The doctor came in and did an exam and explained the my cervices was closed so that was a good sign and said everything looked okay (cue relieved face).
Then...
She came back in with a different look on her face.  She explained the my HCG level was not that of a healthy pregnancy.  The doctor explained that I probably just had enough hcg left in my system the day before to "trigger" the test.  I continued to have an ultra sound that showed the same thing, no healthy baby.  She explained that I had probably had an early miscarriage because something was wrong with the fetus (nature's way is how she explained it) or something when wrong with implantation.
I was heart broken and alone...because I had insisted nothing was wrong and no reason for anyone to come.
The next step was to tell my husband.  Who was clearly upset, by more supporting and worried about me than anything (I love that man).
I came home and cried in a hot bath....and drank wine. 

There are a lot more emotions that went with this and words just don't seem to describe them.  Every time I try to think of just how to put it it just doesn't seem right. 

Lessons Learned From This:

• I love my husband even more after seeing how caring he was in a situation like this (although I hope I don't have to see that side of him again).
• You can't change things like this.  Only do everything right and avoid what you are supposed to, but aside from that things like this aren't in your control.
• I am going to monitor pregnancy tests longer before going to the doctor and getting excited.

Being Positive:

• I am glad that if this had to happen it happened so early on.  My heart goes out to women who go much longer than me and see their sweet baby, etc. and something goes 'wrong'.  I can't imagine.  This was painful and I hadn't even known that long.
• The doctor said something must have been wrong for this to happen, something that could have resulted in complications, etc. later on.
• My husband rocks, but I already knew that. 

So in the end, I am okay.  I am emotionally exhausted, but okay.  I am glad to have such a great and supportive husband who was the strength while I came completely undone. 

Dream Vacation Link Up

Today I am linking up:



My favorite vacation was by far our trip to the Sandals resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica.
We went for a wedding-moon, i.e. a destination wedding.
Our families joined us in paradise.
It was perfect.

Our first night started with great food and drinks around the pool with family and friends.
Please ignore my awesome face, we had been traveling all day and in airports...I cared nothing about make-up at this point.

 There were professional photographers everywhere, so you didn't have to constantly carry around cameras, etc.  At the end of the trip you can review all the pictures and pick which ones you would like burned to a disk.
This was before dinner one night.

They had live entertainment every night...which included dancing and drinks.  

All activities on property were included.
This looks like it was successful...wrong.
We got about 30-40 feet from shore and I freaked imagining Jaws tipping our boat over and eating us.
I was laughed at by the staff.  I am fine with that.

Like I said, photographers everywhere.

We went all out since this was our wedding and honeymoon combined, so we got a villa.
Villas include a butler, here is ours.
 He was amazing!

 We are that couple that didn't take our own pictures until the night before we left.

Our villa.

 The water was crystal clear.

Cue awkward pose because the guy taking the picture kept telling us to move this way then that way.

 

There was something that made this trip unforgettable.  

Our wedding!  

 Yeah, her flowers were supposed to match mine...whatever. 

How dogs are preparing me for children...

How being a dog mom is preparing me for real kids...maybe?!

Now, don't get offended... I realize that the love I will have for my children will be NOTHING like how I love my dogs...this isn't about that.  This is just meant to be a post about the struggles of a dog mom trying to become a real mom.

-10- Our Great Dane, Kayne has insomina issues and stomps around on and off all night and randomly wants to be let out. 

 He is preparing me for all-nighters.  

-9- Our Boxer, Trey, sleeps in our bed.  I have less room than he does and I often get kicked in the ribs. 

He is teaching me to sleep train my kids into their own bed.

-8- They get sick in the middle of the night sometimes.  This is NOT pleasant...like at all.  

They are teaching me, animal or not, when sick they need their momma.

-7- They follow me in the bathroom.  

I think nothing about that at this point.  Before Kayne I attempted to close the door, but he can open them with his chin.  I gave up on that one.

They are teaching me that you have no alone time when you're a mom.

-6- Trey has allergies and has a very specific diet.  

He is teaching me how to read labels for a foods content.  I imagine I will need that skill in mommyhood at some point.

-5- Kayne is the MOST demanding creature, like EVER...and he is BIG so he gets it.

He is teaching me that his needs come first.

-4- Kayne and Trey are jealous of one another.

They are teaching me how to give balanced attention.

-3- They have both had their bouts with eating foreign objects.

They have taught me how to respond in a calm and responsible manner to this. 

After this happened for the like 5th time I got smart enough to not freak out right away.

-2- Trey was a HANDFUL at first.  I mean chewed up everything and then some.

He is teaching me firm, yet fair guidance works the best.

-1- They love me no matter what.  I can be awful and they still love me unconditionally.

The same goes for them. 

They are teaching me that love is unconditional and unchanging...no matter what.